Chassidus on Campus By: Emily Seynaeve
8 Av, 5776
August 12, 2016
I discovered Chabad for the first
time at an info fair during my first year in college. I had a strong interest
in Judaism and wanted to know about the lives my ancestors had. What holidays did they celebrate? What
traditions did they have? After a lot of introspection and soul searching,
I knew I found the right direction for my life and I made a commitment to learn
and practice Judaism. However, I was still struggling with developing faith and
spirituality. Our sages already commented on this issue because of the fact
that we are commanded to love G-d. We recite in the Shema every day, “You shall love the Lord your G-d with all
your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might”[1]
but how can we possibly be commanded to feel something? Maimonides states that,
“The
3rd mitzva is that we are commanded to love G-d (exalted be He),
i.e. to meditate upon him and closely
examine His mitzvot, His
commandments, and His works, in order to
understand Him; and through this understanding to achieve a feeling of ecstasy.
This is the goal of the
commandment to love G-d.”[2]
I interpreted “examine His works”
as an instruction to study the natural world since everything that happens in
the world is a result of G-d’s will. The Alter Rebbe also discussed meditating
on the natural world, but just as one of two approaches for developing a love
for G-d. The quicker method is uncovering the natural love that every Jew has
for G-d. The second, more difficult way, is through meditating on G-d’s
greatness. But as the Alter Rebbe pointed out, “Meditation requires knowledge
of the subject at hand, and intellectual predisposition.”[3]
Over two years of learning, I used the Alter Rebbe’s second method and developed
my love for G-d through science and other secular classes.
After
five weeks at Mayanot, my entire strategy for developing a love for G-d
changed. Learning Chassidus every morning changed how I looked at G-d’s role as
the creator and what “unity of G-d” actually means. The Chumash classes taught
me how to read between the lines and look for the deeper meaning. The chavrusa
style forced me to push myself in Hebrew and critical thinking skills. Instead of
focusing on the intricacies of the natural world as a way of developing a love
for G-d, I started working on my spirituality by meditating on the essential
connection and relationship I have to Hashem. Every day at Mayanot offered new
insights and endless inspiration which made it easy to feel a connection. However,
I know it will be challenging to go home and study on a secular campus. If I’m
not careful, I will lose my inspiration and get lazy with my learning. On the
bright side, I’m confident that the Chassidus I learned at Mayanot gave me the
tools I need to stay focused and motivated, especially when confronted with challenging
situations.
College
is a unique time in life. I’m at a point where I’m not responsible for anyone
but myself. I don’t have children to take care of or a spouse to check in with.
Ideally, I should use this time to focus on improving myself, but I only focus
on myself externally. One of the reasons I came to Mayanot was to give myself the
necessary space from my daily routine in order to work on myself internally. When
I’m in school, I have little time dedicated to developing my spirituality. My
schedule starts early in the morning and goes late into the evening. I
constantly run back and forth between classes, work, club meetings, and study
groups. I have little time for introspection. This causes a lack of menuchas hanefesh, or peace of mind. The solution I drew from Chassidus is
to remember my purpose in life. A lot of people, including myself, confuse
their purpose in life with their own definitions of self-worth. Many students
only think they have self-worth if they ace an exam or secure a decent job. On
a college campus, failure is equivalent to worthlessness. These pressures and
expectations only add to the turmoil of college life. Chassidus illuminates the
idea that self-worth does not come from academic or professional success.
Self-worth comes from the fact that we exist because G-d saw worth in us. No
amount of academic or professional struggle can diminish our essential
self-worth. In order to internalize this idea, you need to be in a state of
bitul. Bitul means that you have a sense of self-worth that comes from something
higher than yourself. Even so, self-worth is not equivalent to purpose. In
chapter 33 of Tanya, the Alter Rebbe explains that our real purpose in life is
to create a dwelling place for G-d. We do mitzvot to connect to Hashem and when
we choose to connect, we create a dwelling place for G-d. While mitzvot are
expected of every Jew, we each have a personal mission to fulfill. Even when my
schedule is overwhelming, I need to realize that I’m here because of something
greater than myself. I know now that what I’m doing in school and work is
really just a means of fulfilling my mission; it is not who I am essentially.
When I realize my greater purpose, I can better focus on developing my
relationship with G-d.
Even
though meditating on G-d’s greatness and the purpose of life is theoretically
always accessible, it is still difficult on a campus with a lack of resources. There
are no longer Chassidus classes in the morning, philosophy in the afternoons,
or farbrengens that go late into the night. It is easy to lose inspiration when
it is no longer right in front of me. Chassidus taught me that just because I
don’t see G-dliness, does not mean that it does not exist. I still have to
strive to reveal the G-dliness in my surroundings. This is one of the most
basic concepts of Chassidus: G-d exists and there is “none besides him.”[4]
It would seem from this verse that we actually don’t have a purpose on earth. If
nothing exists but G-d, then surely the world does not actually exist. Yet this
definition of G-d’s unity does not contradict the existence of the world, because
it says in the Torah, “In the beginning G-d created the heavens and the earth.”[5]
Chassidus
explains that the world evolved through seder
hishtalshelus. The Previous Rebbe taught that “Hishtalshelus is the progressive chain of descent from one level to
the next.” [6]
He then goes on to explain that “The manner of understanding G-dliness is
twofold: that G-d is all and that all is G-d. Both these aspects contain
profound intellectual concepts. G-d Himself, however is “atzmi,” or “essence,” and totally beyond comprehension. All that
can be comprehended is ha’orah, the
radiation emanating from His essence.”[7]
This means that the world we perceive is still G-d’s essence, but with a higher
level of concealment. The application of this idea is just because I don’t see
revealed G-dliness on campus, does not mean it does not exist; I just have to
work harder to see it.
While
it is true that G-dliness is everywhere, true appreciation of G-d’s unity comes
from study. I know at some point I’ll face a lack of motivation to learn. In
college, I have to reach out to find chavrusa partners and work harder to keep
up with my learning. I was easily motivated at Mayanot when I had hours of time
to study and a classroom of girls to learn with. I may still be motivated when
I get back, but I know over time that I might readjust to my old routines and
lose touch with the passion I found at Mayanot. In the beginning of the summer,
I thought my passion came from a purely intellectual place. I loved the
satisfaction of translating a line of Hebrew and piecing out cases from the
Mishna. Over time, I realized the joy I felt actually came from a deeper level.
My joy came from reconnecting to Hashem and the mitzvot in
a totally new way. Chassidus taught me that the reason why we do mitzvot is
because we care about what Hashem wants and want to strengthen our connection
with Him. If I keep this in mind, then the mitzvot I do will only strengthen my
will to keep learning and trying to connect on a deeper level. The Alter Rebbe
explains this concept in chapter 44 in Tanya when he says “the individual’s
love of G-d will encourage him in his Torah study, since He realizes that this
will enable him to draw down the infinite light of the Ein Sof and become united with G-d.” [8]
The G-dly spark in each of us wants to
connect back to its source. Revealing this hidden love is not an impossible
task. If one makes it a habit to do mitzvot with the intention of connecting to
Hashem, the natural love for Hashem will eventually be revealed. The Alter
Rebbe then goes on to say “These levels of love are the cause of the
performance of one’s Torah and mitzvot, for they result from the portrayal of
this love in his mind.”[9] This means that even after long days of
classes and work, if I can remember why I do mitzvot and why I want to connect,
I can further reveal the natural love for G-d that keeps me motivated.
Even
when I’m not actively studying Torah, love for G-d can still be stimulated on
campus in my secular classes. When I sit in anatomy classes, I can think of the
words of Rav Yonasan Eibeshutz,
“One
who is proficient in anatomy recognizes Hashem’s great love for man and the
wisdom involved in his creation. One becomes aware all his needs are performed
by different organs- some are hard while others are soft, some are dry while
others are moist- and yet they work together precisely. ‘How great are your
works, Hashem, You make them all with wisdom!’”[10]
My
time at Mayanot may be coming to an end, but that is not an excuse to stop learning.
I may face more challenges at home than at seminary, but learning Chassidus
gave me all the tools I need to keep pushing forward. Whether I’m learning
Torah, sitting in class, or going to work, I know I can think about why I’m
here and reconnect to the passion I kindled over the past five weeks.
[2] Maimonides.
Sefer Hamitzvot. Translated by Berel Bell.
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/940228/jewish/Positive-Commandment-3.htm
[3] R.
Shneur Zalman of Liadi. Lessons in Tanya. Translated by Rabbi Yosef Wineberg.
Edited by Uri Kaploun. Vol. 1: Likutei Amarim. Chs. 1-34. Brooklyn, NY: Kehot
Publication Society, 1993.
[4] Deuteronomy 4:35
[5] Gn
1:1
[6] Schneerson
of Lubavitch, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok. ""And Now, Our G-d, Hearken to
the Prayer of Your Servant."" Translated by Sholom Wineberg. In
Chassidic Discources, 25-26. Vol. 1. Brooklyn: Sichos in English, 1999.
[7]
Ibid.
[8] Rabbi
Schneur Zalman of Liadi. Lessons in Tanya. Vol. 2. Brooklyn, NY: Kehot
Publication Society, 1997.
[9]
Ibid.
[10] V'Ani
Tefillah Foundation. "Hashem's Chochma at Work." Praying with Passion
11.
Works
Cited:
- Maimonides. Sefer Hamitzvot. Translated by Berel Bell. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/940228/jewish/Positive-Commandment-3.htm
- Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi. Lessons in Tanya. Translated by Rabbi Yosef Wineberg. Edited by Uri Kaploun. Vol. 1: Likutei Amarim. Chs. 1-34. Brooklyn, NY: Kehot Publication Society, 1993.
- Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. Lessons in Tanya. Vol. 2. Brooklyn, NY: Kehot Publication Society, 1997.
- Schneerson of Lubavitch, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok. ""And Now, Our G-d, Hearken to the Prayer of Your Servant."" Translated by Sholom Wineberg. In Chassidic Discources, 25-26. Vol. 1. Brooklyn: Sichos in English, 1999.
- V'Ani Tefillah Foundation. "Hashem's Chochma at Work." Praying with Passion 11.